I think about the implications
Of diving in too deep
And possibly the complications
Last last night (August 8, 2006) marks my debut primetime appearance on national television. It’s nothing alarming, really. In fact, it was more disturbing to some of my closest acquaintances and even to myself. Despite the very little bit of preparation, I managed to stay sane and sensible during the entire round of interview.
Especially at night
I worry over situations
I know will be alright
Perhaps it's just imagination
As most of you already knew, I passed the recently concluded Nurse Licensure Examinations. After four tortuous years of nursing school, battling and juggling tremendous personal and professional chores have come into fruition—and here I am now, with my BS Nursing diploma, guns blazing, ready to face my new life as a professional Registered Nurse. But with the recent leakage issues, everything comes to a halt.
Day after day it reappears
Night after night my heartbeat shows the fear
Ghosts appear and fade away
Come back another day
At first I wanted to take my hands off of the issues at hand. I’m the Switzerland of the nursing profession—neutral, unbiased, and impartial. But when I was invited to render a speech for the batch and the parents of my batch mates who, unfortunately, did not sail through through the exams, I was disheartened by my apathy and indifference. I rendered my speech, hoping I would be able to inspire the rest of my batch mates to fight for what is right and to speak up for the truth.
Alone between the sheets
Only brings exasperation
It's time to walk the streets
Smell the desperation
At least there's pretty lights
And though there's little variation
It nullifies the night from overkill
But I have no idea that the entire “issue” would be this big. My friends have advised me to take a neutral stand on this pressing issue. I still have poor insight regarding these things. I’m not against the retake stuff; on the other hand, I would be very delighted if some parts of the tests would be retaken, for in this manner, I would obtain higher scores then. But on further introspection, when I come to think of the tremendous physical and psychological efforts I would submit myself again into, fear suddenly grows in me. What if I fail during the retake? As a good friend would say, “would it be worth the squeeze?”
Day after day it reappears
Night after night my heartbeat shows the fear
Ghosts appear and fade away
Come back another day
Honestly, after the first day of the exams, I was so emotionally drained there is no way I could have made it past that day. It’s so damn difficult and tricky even I was surprised. The questions are so subjective, no amount of review, research or brainstorming could furnish you with the exact answers. And I couldn’t blame a lot of people for being unmoved with the issue, and I respect their decisions, I really do.
I can't get to sleep
I think about the implications
Of diving in too deep
And possibly the complications
Especially at night
I worry over situations
I know will be alright
It's just overkill
Sometimes I ask myself if my involvement in this issue is worth my time and effort. At present, I’m so sick I couldn’t even move my fingers while typing this blog entry. I was advised to be on bed rest by my MD, forcing me to absent myself in the forum at school, and a “tentative” shooting with Ms. Korina Sanchez, Sen. R. Gordon, etc. at the ANC studio. I have flu, and an impending pneumonia. Perhaps if not for my physical limitations, I could have been there, advocating and doing what I do best. But I’m not that invincible, for I am human too.
Day after day it reappears
Night after night my heartbeat shows the fear
Ghosts appear and fade away
Ghosts appear and fade away
Ghosts appear and fade away
Sometimes I think it’s kind of overkill. I’m hoping everything turns okay in the end—the truth shall prevail and the sinners will be punished. And all I’m praying for is that the ghosts that appeared… will soon fade away.
