Gimme More

Music review. Again.

My taste for anything auditory can be summarized into one word: distasteful. Out of 4,000 songs in my iPod, I only play a handful, more or less a hundred, and they’re all cramped up in a single playlist---“My Top-Rated.” Ever since my DSL services are restored and PLDT stopped playing the bee-yotch part, I have downloaded 12 full albums (at the very least), and have been listening to them before going to bed.

Ready for my personal reviews? I ain’t going nowhere.




James Blunt
All The Lost Souls.




Poignant. Nostalgic. Evocative. Contrary to popular judgment, I really, really liked James Blunt’s sophomore album. Every song, and I’m not exaggerating, is incredibly rich with emotions, and is rendered so elegantly, that it feels like you’re a part of it or something. Using Back to Bedlam as a prototype, Lost Souls continues its stratagem of involving the listener into Blunt’s little private life that by the end of the journey, Simona, or Annie, is not merely a name in his song, but an image in the sublime collage of our existence.

My Lightness Picks:
1973, Same Mistake (reminds me so much of Coldplay’s The Scientist) and One of the Brightest Stars (the single most spectacular track in this album).




Keane
Little Broken Words




Haunting. Moving. Heartrending. Little Broken Words is perfection incarnate. Just when I thought that Hopes and Fears and Under The Iron Sky couldn’t get better then came this exquisite album. Tom Chaplin’s voice is so unadulterated-ly crystal clear it’s almost tactile as much as it is tangible. The mistiness of the melody imparts a melancholic mood bordering into bitter, depressing, and suicidal.

Don’t be fooled by the gloomy cover, or track names “To The End of the Earth” and “The Sun Ain’t Gonna Shine Anymore,” this album boast the most beautiful remake of Louis Armstrong’s “What A Wonderful World” that would suffice to chase those blues away. You’ll be thanking me for this recommendation. =)

My Lightness Picks:
What A Wonderful World (this track is perfection), Goodbye Yellow Brick Road (Elton John’s original work, remade very beautifully), Something In Me Was Dying and Fly To Me.




Britney Spears
Gimme More (Single)




Orgasmic. Electrifying. Intoxicating. And this ain’t another Britney critique. “Invincible, artful, a potential smash hit, destined for a lofty chart debut, strong and feisty,” are what critics, Billboard.com included, commented on this Grammy-Award winner’s latest single. Seriously, this song is reminiscent of the high-water marks set by “Toxic,” “Oops! I Did It Again,” and “...Baby One More Time,” and I’m not being sarcastic when I say that I really do love this nuveau Britney track.

“They want more, well, I'll give them more,” she says, standing up to a billion flash bulbs with a genuine potential smash hit behind her. She's not just bitching about the paparazzi—she's begging them for more with a smirk and some cocaine funk. Reverse psychology par excellence or a star admitting to her own dark, attention-craving desires? Either way, it's more intriguing than it should be. “It's Britney, bitch,” she says at the top of the track. Welcome back, bitch.*

Welcome back, indeed.

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Images from en.wikipedia.org. Gimme More supplemental reviews here, here and here.

This Ain’t A Scene, It’s An Arms Race

This entry is a little overdue primarily because of one stupid reason: I FREAKING MISSED THE EMMY’S.

I freaking have to wait for a whole freaking week to watch the freaking replay last freaking Saturday in the freaking Kabarkada Channel. I’m keeping this freaking post freaking short and freaking sweet okay?

Enough of freaking intro stuffs, here are my freaking observations:



1) Ryan Seacrest, this year’s host, is a bit ho-hum, but I’ll give him A- for effort. Don’t expect something comedic to come out of an un-comedy host. It’s like expecting the author of this site to show his image in public. If you expect otherwise, keep shooting for the stars.

2) The Red Carpet? Lots and lots of gorgeous actresses (Helen Mirren, Debra Messing, Ali Larter, America Ferrera, Vanessa Williams, Tina Fey, etc. need I say more?)! It felt like I’m seeing too much of a good thing that it’s almost sickening (it’s like consuming 6 Krispy Kremes and a Venti Strawberry Frap in one sitting)! Heidi Klum? Breathtaking Donut. Kate Walsh? Stunning Cupcake. Katherine Heigl? Immaculate Milkshake!

3) Fast forward to the show proper. Remember my Emmy Forecast, well, I got 7 correct predictions out of the 11 categories I’ve critiqued. (That is fairly decent considering how tight this year’s competition is). That’s still 73%, though – a freaking F (okay, no more freaking this time).



4) The Sopranos winning Outstanding Drama Series is so predictable. James Gandolfini losing to James Spader as Outstanding Actor for Drama for Boston Legal is totally unexpected (even Spader himself was surprised, ie., "I feel like I just stole a pile of money from the Mob, and they're all sitting over there"--points to The Soprano mobsters). Kinda like The Soprano’s finale. Poof. Zee end.

5) Sally Field won Outstanding Actress for Drama for Brothers and Sisters, as predicted. I was a little apprehensive of her acceptance speech though. I was expecting a “You like me, you really like me” vibe but instead, she dedicated the award to all mothers… saying that if mothers rule the world, there will be no goddamn wars, or something to that effect. Hearing the word goddamn from an actress who doesn’t like war is a bit oxymoronic. You wouldn’t hear my mom say goddamn! How about yours?

6) Remember this line:

Who I want to win for Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Dramatic Series:

Katherine Heigl, Grey's Anatomy, ABC (I’m hell sure of this! Katherine Heigl's portrayal of Dr. Izzie Steven, particularly by the debut and the end of the 3rd Season, etched this Emmy win. I'm staking my life and reputation for Heigl's win this year. *wink).

Well, I told you so. =)



7) More of Heigl, I just love your speech. In verbatim: “My own mother told me that I didn’t have a shot in hell of winning tonight.” Your goddamn mom is wrong! You should’ve said “I told you so” while doing the chicken dance onstage. In your face! In your face!

8) 30 Rock won the Outstanding Comedy Series category (as predicted). Another good reason to buy its DVD or download the series off the Net. America Ferrera is stunning in Monique Lhuillier, read, Pinoy. Ricky Gervais won on the distaff side. By the way, Ricky Gervais, who?

9) On the Supporting Actors side, Terry O’Quinn won for Lost, Jeremy Piven for Entourage and Jamie Pressly for My Name is Earl. Expect a Vanessa Williams, Masi Oka, and TR Knight comeback next year. And I hope Michael Hall (Dexter) will finally get at least a nod.



Lastly, 10) Christina Aguilera and Tony Bennett’s performance of “Steppin’ Out With My Baby” is so classy jazzy. Loved the salmon dress, except that the water-weight, read obese tummy, is showing. Oh, is that a (baboy) baby bump? I get it. It’s in the song.

Verdict: A for the multitudinous stars, etc., A- for the host, A+ for the presentors, B+ for editing, B- for the voiceover (read, Heigl, nor Heijl). Overall, I’ll give the 59th Primetime Emmy Award Show an average rating of A-.

Best Dressed Woman of the Night: Heidi Klum
Best Speech of the Night: James Spader
Most Deserved Win: America Ferrera
This Year’s Booboo: The seating arrangement.

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PS. Images from stuff.co.nz, imdb.com and tv.yahoo.com. Album reviews on next post.

These Dreams

Exactly two days before the Nursing Licensure results are released, Skeleton Collector dreamt that he got to check my examination papers and that he gave me a failing mark. He said that he has done everything imaginable to alter my grades but in the end, I still got a rating extremely unacceptable by any standards.

In reality I only got a failing mark ONCE in my Biochemistry exam when I got a score of 6 out of a 15-item-post-test. I was not at all alarmed when I learned that I still got the highest mark among our batch of 487 students.

I almost went into a coronary as I was reading Skeleton’s comments. It was definitely not the most appropriate time to hear another anxiety-provoking story as the board results will be posted in a matter of a few days. The only thing that kept me at peace the entire time --- the absence of the words “Licensure Examinations for Nurses” on the paper Skeleton Collector was checking.

Two days later, I received the good news that I passed the freaking exams. Thence I got into the hasty generalization that dreams are just reality on the contrary.



For three consecutive nights, I have been dreaming of, and about, my ex-lover. It was extremely lucid and vivid that I could recall every insignificant detail in my dream --- every circumstance, every person involved, every line of the conversation, everything. I guess it wouldn’t come as a surprise when I told my good friends that I’m sort of missing him since I saw him a few weeks back and I gave him the coldest treatment by not even looking at his face.

Freud’s psychoanalytic psychology postulates that our dreams contain our most intimate wishes. Jungian influence tells us that dreams symbolize a cognisant representation, depicting an emotion or a memory so repressed, so distressing that the unconscious compensates it in fantasy.

Since my dreams about my ex-lover mostly show myself chasing after him, I think it would be safe to say that I still might have feelings for him (in my dreams, at the very least) just repressed into the deep recesses of my memory. When I saw him the other week, I couldn’t feel anymore ecstatic, my pulse is racing so fast, butterflies keep on rambling in my stomach, my palms perpetually sweating, my eyes in uncontrollable gazes. My body reacting contradictorily to what my heart, and my mind is trying to convey me.

Last night I told myself that if I dreamt of him once again, I will try to rebuild the bridge that I once burned. The heavy downpour of rain seemed to aptly coincide with my peaceful slumber.

In my dream, I’m still in three strokes under par. I’m in a prestigious 18-hole golf course in Hong Kong, playing golf with my closest buddies. The rain ruined my perfectly-executed game, and my college classmates watched me intently, and fervently, as I was taking a shower, in my naked glory, of course.

And this time, I no longer need psychoanalysis to tell me what to do. =)

In The Deep

After three extremely memorable years, two successful template changes, 75 meaningful posts, over 1,000 insightful comments, and 12,000 extraordinary visitors sharing my quest for happiness and true love, I have made another momentous chapter in The Unbearable Lightness --- my new header. =)

Allow me to share a little anecdote about each panel.



HAPPINESS

“This is the true joy in life, being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one… My life belongs to the whole community and as long as I live, it is my privilege to do for it whatever I can. I want to be thoroughly used up when I die, for the harder I work, the more I live. I rejoice in life for it's own sake. Life is no “brief candle” to me. It is sort of a splendid torch which I have a hold of for the moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it over to future generations.”
~G. B. Shaw

The first panel represents happiness – like the feeling of a child chasing down dandelions on a warm sunny noon, the feeling of stillness, of fulfilment, of satisfaction, of being with the ones you love, of remembering your own spirit. The panel also symbolizes faith and hope, that after the deepest, darkest nights, the sun will surely rise to cast its radiance amongst the shadows that lies within.

FREEDOM

“To live content with small means; to seek elegance rather than luxury, and refinement rather than fashion; to be worthy, not respectable, and wealthy, not, rich; to listen to stars and birds, babes and sages, with open heart; to study hard; to think quietly, act frankly, talk gently, await occasions, hurry never; in a word, to let the spiritual, unbidden and unconscious, grow up through the common --- this is my symphony.”
~W. H. Channing

The second panel symbolizes spontaneity, freedom, and vitality. It reflects vigour, energy and dynamism --- for we are always ever-changing, we are all capable of growth and self-actualization, and we need each other in order to survive. For as long as we are alive, we play a huge part in the intricacies of this universe, in this cosmic destiny, and in this inexplicable circle of life.

PEACE

“People spend a lifetime searching for happiness; looking for peace. They chase idle dreams, addictions, religions, even other people, hoping to fill the emptiness that plagues them. The irony is the only place they ever needed to search was within.”
~R. L. Anderson

The third panel reflects peace of mind, tranquillity of spirit, and the unity of mind, body and soul. That amidst this world of hatred, pain, and chaos, our most-yearned personal peace is attainable, just look within the silence of your heart, and if we’re lucky enough, is just one shower away.

INNOCENCE

“It is in deep solitude that I find the gentleness with which I can truly love my brothers. The more solitary I am the more affection I have for them…. Solitude and silence teach me to love my brothers for what they are, not for what they say.”
~T. Merton

The final panel shows an angel --- in a silent, introspective, contemplative mood, with a veiled, mysterious smile and an oversized unfolded wing, symbolizing innocence, purity, and goodness of spirit. With the image, we are reminded that we are all capable of goodness because of our intrinsic worth and dignity, and the heaven that we all aspire for is just a wing spread away.

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We are all individuals of beauty and goodness, of radiance and warmth, of wisdom and character, of harmony and balance --- all packed-up in facets, in panels, forming a composite of our own personal selves. I just hope, and pray, that in this short, ephemeral existence of ours, may we all learn how to spread our wings, and soar the highest, the deepest, the farthest point our soul could reach, to that place where true happiness, freedom, peace, and innocence springs eternal.

What are the facets of your unbearable existence?

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Images from flickr. Do you like my new header?

32 Flavors (And Then Some)

I was supposed to read Former President Joseph Estrada’s verdict yesterday (yup, I downloaded the entire 262 page Sandiganbayan decision) but due to sheer legal ignorance, unfathomable boredom and downright lethargy, I stopped reading at page 2. After reading from the Sunday paper that the plunder decision has 84,000 words in it, I immediately skipped the first 259 pages and instead perused the dispositive portion (just like what they did during the promulgation).

It is fair enough that the former president got convicted for the crime he committed. But that’s just me and I know that everyone’s entitled to their personal opinions, thanks very much. I guess our courts’ successful conviction of an ex-ruler is a testament that our judicial process indeed works (or does it?). For my final message, stop with the bickering everyone, we have a nation to build. With that, I rest my case.



Instead of browsing through the remaining 259, I just turned the TV on and watched the UAAP Cheerdance Competition where, ehem, my Alma Mater’s UST Salinggawi Dance Troupe painstakingly tried to defend the crown (and hopefully to produce a 6-feat back-to-back championship), but ultimately bowing down to the UP Pep Squad. Such a low, low point in UST Salinggawi history --- who, for the past 5 years, perfected the art of cheerdancing with its flawless, pristine, breathtaking routines.

No use blaming that girl in a bumble-bee-inspired black-gold, black-white outfit who fell in the pyramid, though. UP indeed made a good routine. It was truly classy of the UST Gawi to accept the 1st runner up trophy without the bitterness and the awry faces (yup, I’m talking to the competitors who won 2nd runner-up). To all of the Cheerdance competitors, congratulations and see you next year.

“God of all nations, Merciful Lord of our restless being,
Sweep with your golden Lilies, this fountain of Purest Light;

Trace with the sails of the galleons the dream beyond our seeing,
Touch with the flames of your kindness the gloom of our darkness night.

Keep us in beauty, and truth, and virtues impassioned embrace
Ever your valiant legions, imbued with Unending Grace.”

*

After a clean, negative chest X-Ray (God knows how many patients with Pulmonary Tuberculosis I have handled in my 3 months of training), a negative Hepatitis profile (Hepatitis B can be transmitted percutaneously/needlestick injuries and through unprotected sexual contacts with carriers), and a satisfactory physical exam, I’m now a step closer to my dream job.

I now have a week to memorize the institution’s mission, vision etc. for my final interview. If everything goes well, my name could then be successfully removed from the country’s ever-growing list of the unemployed. That’s a good thing, really, knowing that Christmas is just around the corner. Or is it Halloween?



The Hall of Masters in the National Art Gallery of the National Museum of the Filipino People (P. Burgos Rd near Luneta) had been recently inaugurated and is now open to the public. The country’s greatest artistic masterpieces are now nestled in a much opulent gallery, with Luna’s Spoliarium, no less, as the central art piece. I’m *planning to have a visit this Friday, or Saturday, if the weather permits, so if you’re interested in joining yours truly, feel free to leave a message (or you may use the SMS widget on the sidebar) so I can arrange for a docent for a guided tour.

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I’m back to having Yoga classes again and since after last Friday’s session, my palms, abdomen, and legs still hurt. And I couldn’t mix muscle relaxants with my anti-seizure meds. I’m blaming my improperly-executed Sun Salutation poses. I was planning on going back to Basic classes but I definitely would miss my classmates. Aargh, I’m getting old! How soon hath time the subtle thief of Youth…

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I love, love, love this song by Hello Goodbye, Oh It Is Love! This is soo one of the mushiest songs I’ve ever heard, but it was fun nonetheless. (The song is so worth the wait, I promise).



Love it? Have a blessed week everyone!

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Images from time.com, wikipedia.org, wetcircuit.com, answers.com, ochristmastree.com and povray.org.

Littlest Things

I was rummaging through some of my stuffs and came upon these short interesting anecdotes about some ex-patients. Between the existential me and the phenomenological you, there’s a little lesson that we can extract in these chronicles though, and I hope you’ll find them useful whenever you eat a certain fruit, deal with pesky insects, or have your private, sexy times. Ready? Read on.



The Seed
Grandpa’s Fetish Goes Awry

An 86-year-old male consulted the ER because of gastrointestinal distress. He had several episodes of vomiting fecaloid material accompanied by lower abdominal pains. An admitting diagnosis of non-specific gastroenterocolitis (inflammation of stomach and intestines) was made and he was suspected to have intestinal obstruction.

Upon further history taking, the client admitted of having the fondness of ingesting seeds (particularly santol seeds), upon which his relatives suspect for the client’s inability to pass stools. Colonoscopy was done and showed intestinal obstruction with necrosis (death) of intestinal mucosa. Results also show a characteristic metaplasia of the mucosa, confirmatory of a Colon Cancer.

The Mosquito
Bite Me

A 17-year-old female comes from a family of beauty queens. She joined Miss Puerto Princesa 2006 and was the incumbent titleholder. The day after the pageant, she experienced febrile convulsions, passage of black urine, and uncontrollable chills.

She was admitted at a local hospital but her condition worsened. She became unresponsive, comatose, and was hooked to mechanical ventilator. She was then transferred to our institution for further management and evaluation.

She was confined in the ICU with a diagnosis of Cerebral Malaria vs. Viral Encephalopathy, Status Epilepticus (uncontrolled seizures), Atypical Complicated Pneumonia, Kidney Failure and Fulminant Sepsis (widespread blood infection). She was on ventilator for 6 months… and counting.

The Prince Albert
In or Out, Is It In or Out?

A 28-year-old married female consulted the ER because of vaginal spotting, accompanied by local swelling, tenderness and discharge at the pelvic region.

Further history taking revealed that her partner used to have a “Prince Albert” (Link NSFW) type of penile piercing, which was later found to be missing after sexual intercourse.

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Case#1 fought like hell to combat cancer but succumbed a few years later. Case#2 was transferred to another institution as their bill reached almost PhP 6 Million ($130,000). Case#3 was discharged in good condition, and has learned her lessons the hard way.

The hospital will definitely sue me once the admin gets to read this entry. If that case happens, I would like to take this opportunity to thank each of you for relentlessly supporting Unbearable Lightness.

Welcome To The Black Parade

24. That wasn’t necessarily the title of the famous Jack Bauer series. Instead, that’s the number of people eyeing my potential job assignment and the number of prospective murderers who are eagerly aspiring to hunt me down, skin me alive, feast with my internal organs, and put my skeletal remains to good use, just to get a job, with my name already written all over it.

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Yesterday was one of my busiest days ever. So many things happened that posting everything in this entry would make this post incredibly boring. I’ll try to save some stuff for later posting, and will instead post today the highlights of yesterday.

I made a courtesy call to my ICU supervisor (who has been waiting for moi since time immemorial). Remember my old post where I said that I bypassed a 6-month compulsory medical-surgical ward experience required prior to occupying an ICU post? Well, I did, upon which many staff (who are keenly eyeing that ICU slot) were alarmed and furious. Brag Alert: What can I do if I’m more qualified for the job (than them) and my boss is satisfied with my performance? I guess it’s not any of my faults anymore. (Sorry, that was totally uncalled for.)

What really infuriated me was the conversation that transpired between a new trainee and yours truly, upon which the verbatim speech, and the hidden meaning of the wordplay, are transcribed below.

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Me: Hi! Is Ms. Supervisor around? I need this pre-employment requirement personally signed by her.

She: (In an annoyingly infuriating voice) She’s in Bed G. Someone’s having a code.
Trans: Who are you little biatch in an unflattering blue top? Someone’s dying in Bed G and all you could think of is that silly little paper of yours? How inhumane could you get?

Me: Oh then I’ll come back later. Could you tell her that I came for a visit? I’m Ruff by the way.
Trans: I’ll come back later bee-yotch with an attitude. Honey, consider yourself lucky for having the opportunity of meeting and personally talking to me, to which only a few handful have had the chance of experiencing. I’m Ruff, by the way. Yup, you’ve heard it right, Ruff. Spelled as R for ravishing, U for uber-yummy, F for furious and F for fun. =)

She: (In a more shocked and aghast tone) Ooh so you’re Ruff.
Trans: So you’re the reason why the supervisor won’t hire me, and the rest of us, the 24 staff nurses eyeing for the post!!!

Me: Are you getting IN for the ICU post?
Trans: Oh my god, are you trying to steal my job?

She: Unfortunately not. Ms. Supervisor wants you to get IN first before she plans on even considering us eh.
Trans: So, you indeed are Ruff! The frigid little whore who Ms. Supervisor prefers to HIRE instead of the 24 of us who have been kneeling in front of her just to be considered for this job. Go to hell, you pesky 5’1” minuscule troll! Get out of my sight before I strangle you alive with this dextrose line I’m holding!

Me: Oooh, I see. Hmmm, well, I’ll come by later instead. KThanksBye!
Trans: So that’s the reason for the attitude! Might as well flee before I got shocked (defibrillated) by this mad creature or something.

*

I later confirmed through my supervisor that out of (atleast) 24 staff nurses (senior staff, trainees, probies, etc.) eyeing for the job, I was considered as the nurse-of-choice. The 24 have been persistently trying to know who I was and what I have that made them the less-favored species.

Don’t you just hate it when people talk behind your back and underestimate you without even having had the chance of meeting you or knowing you personally at least? It’s not my fault if my boss wants me, and not them. I, though, have an inkling that it is because I do my JOB WELL and I do not misjudge a person for who or what he/she is. Try to do your job well, you guys! And the rewards you truly deserve will be given unto you.

Crab mentality really sucks.

I believe in karma, you know. Cultivate good seeds and soon harvest sweet fruits, plant bad seeds and reap bitter crops. And between the two of us, I guess it is me who got the last laugh. Bwahahaha. Okay, that’s just mean.

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Sorry if this entry is teeming with fury and bitterness. It’s just that so much angry feelings are welling inside of me that I might burst if I don’t let them out. I’m really a civilized person. It just pains me to see how people could do dirty things to get what they want. I’m utterly speechless.

Dirty Little Secret

I’ll let you in into my dirty little secret. It’s not that dirty, really, it’s more of narcissistic actually. Remember this post where I have discovered a face recognition and a celebrity matching site? Well I have tried (it again) using my recent photo, and as expected, I’m kind of pleased with the results.



What is really amazing? (1) Most of the celebrity results are Asians (when in fact I don’t look that chinito, aside from my ex-lover who persistently told me that I do). (2) I have several celebrity look-alikes who appeared both in my last year snapshots and in my recent image results (take in case Zhang Ziyi, Song Hye-Kyo, etc.). And (3) I still think they’re quite accurate. Talk about self-absorption. =)

What is your dirty little secret? And who are your celebrity look-alikes?

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You can try the celebrity look-alike engine here.

Dust In The Wind

Hazing in university fraternities seemed to have claimed another victim.

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Patrick (not his real name) was rushed at this certain university hospital by his dormitory landlord after he was seen unconscious and choking on his own vomitus of blood. After he was stabilized in the ER and initial work-ups were made, a diagnosis of eroded esophagus probably secondary to ingestion of foreign object was made.

An esophago-gastroscopy was done and the following were extracted from his stomach: a partially undigested banana (with the peel on), a dozen of safety pins, bezoar (of rolls of undigested paper) and a pin with an insignia of this certain organization. He later revealed that they were forced to ingest the aforementioned objects as a part of their fraternity initiation rites at this certain state university. He was discharged in good condition.

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Carl was rushed by his dad at the same hospital with a chief complaint of unresponsiveness (not being able to eat, perform activities of daily living, verbally respond when spoken to, etc.). The anamnesis revealed that Carl was an A+ student who, weeks before admission, joined this certain fraternity and was forced to perform the sexual act with another man as a part of their initiation rite. He was brought home in a shocked, unresponsive, and apparently traumatized state.

At the hospital, he was diagnosed to have Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder and Catatonic Schizophrenia (Stupor type, think waxy flexibility). He was managed with nasogastric tubes, antipsychotic meds, and supportive care. He was still unresponsive even after he was discharged.

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A concerned bystander rushed a John Doe to the same institution after he was seen unconscious on a sidewalk at this major thoroughfare. John Doe has a pulse but had erratic respirations. At the ER, several traumatic injuries were seen on his buttocks, posterior thigh, and lower back.

In no more than fifteen minutes, he coded and expired. Cause of death: cardiogenic shock secondary to massive internal bleeding (ruptured spleen, hemoperitoneum, punctured liver, kidney/renal hematoma), traumatic in origin. At the morgue, he was identified by a friend who claimed that his fraternity initiation rite was held on the night the body was found.

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When will the lamb stop screaming? To Chris Anthony Mendez, Requiescat in Pace.

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The cases presented are real medical cases actually handled by the author in this certain university hospital. The author has no intention to malign or cause undue harm to any third party which may be involved in the aforementioned cases.

Tears In Heaven

Music and me—we’re inseperable. If not for a lightning striking me alive whilst wearing my iPod, an acoustic/vestibular Schwannoma (cancer arising from ear cells) will definitely kill me in the future.

I’ve had melodiacal-inspired posts before (my top ten songs, my Samson post, my Vanessa Williams obsession, etc). But this time, I have decided to list the ten songs that moved me to tears and made me cry. Not in a heartrending, poignant way, but songs that literally made me CRY, as in weep with anger, pain and hatred that made me wish I wasn’t born at all.

Feel free to curse, say shitty stuffs, and throw your computer screens or laptops while reading this post.



10. Barbie Girl (Aqua)

This is the most promiscuous, pedophilic, immoral song ever written! How dare you turn Barbie, my favourite pre-pubescent toy, into a twisted sexual object! Hello? “You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere… kiss me here, touch me there, smell-my-panty.” Pervert!!! Lene Marlin, you’re destined to burn in hell with this song. I assure you of that.

9. Lucky (Britney Spears)

Don’t get me wrong! I adore Britney Spears. I think that her songs You Got It All and From the Bottom of My Broken Heart are good albeit mediocre pieces. But this song, complete with its music video, is plain unacceptable. Why oh why Britney?! “Isn’t she lovely, this Hollywood girl?” Are you even pertaining to yourself with that line? Lovely? Hollywood? Girl?

8. Mirror Mirror (M2M)

Randomly pick 2 Norwegian women afflicted with precocious puberty, give the 1st lady a piano and the other one a guitar, inoculate Diphtheria bacilli in their pharynges, and give them a screen-name a flaming queer will definitely enjoy. That is the perfect recipe for success.

7. Boombastic (Shaggy)

I’ve danced this tune once when I was in elementary with matching shades, baggy pants and psychedelic-printed polo. The day after that my theatre teacher excluded me from the school play, my basketball teammates refused to talk to me, my childhood crush hated me, and I was scorned even by my best friend. Such harsh, harsh childhood. Damn you, Shaggy.

6. The Ketchup Song (Las Ketchup)

I was in Freshman College when this song surprisingly turned out to be a huge hit. During our college week, when my professors with Ph.D., MD, Ll.B., Ed.D, M.A. and M.Sci. degrees danced this as a part of college presentation, I have lost trust in each of them. No self-respecting person would dance this song… in public… ever.



5. Bye Bye Bye (N*Sync)

My comment? Well N*Sync, Bye Bye Bye! See you with Britney!

4. All Filipino Novelty Songs (M2M, ie., Many to Mention)

I think it all started with Bayani Agbayani’s Ocho Ocho, followed by Muskulados’ Jumbo Hotdog, then Viva Hot Babes’ Bulaklak, and Alienic’s Dayang Dayang. Enter Joey de Leon’s Itaktak Mo, reciprocated by the uber-controversial Willie Revillame’s Boom-Tarat and Iyugyug Mo among others. Enter Mystica, Mahal and Mura, Michael V., Vhong Navarro, Angelica Jones, and so much more. One person to blame though, Lito Camo. You’re going to pay for the countless lives you’ve destroyed with your songs Lito. Mark my words!

3. Mmm-Bop (Hanson)

Mmm-bop, badu-badop-badu-bop, badu-badop-badu-bap, bado ba dap ba doo. Yehe yehe. What the f*&% was that? Please explain.

2. Macarena (Los del Rio)

Don’t tell me you didn’t memorize the steps of this song?! When I was little and my brain’s the size of my testicle, I would dance this song to the point of exhaustion. That was the time when I believed that Spice Girls were homosexual men in drag clothing, LA Lopez is an alien incarnate, and shouting Power-Up will transform me into Pink Ranger. Now, I definitely know better.

And the number one… drumroll please…

1. Magic Carpet Ride (Aring-King-King-King) (Steppenwulf)

What on earth was the inspiration for this song? If I would be president, I will definitely impose Death Penalty to criminals by playing this Aring-King-King sh*t over and over again until their heads explode or they slam their heads so hard they crack open! This song is trash epitomized.

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Do I hear you cursing? Just kidding. Feel free to youtube the songs if you’re not familiar with them. Now I couldn’t get this annoying Aring-King-King-King song off of my head. Dang!

Ballad Of A Passer's Heart

The day was dark, the sun’s out of sight
And it’s rays obscure, covert
The clouds are thick, yet Ruff went out
To see his grades so fair.

“Dear Madam,” he pleaded as he claims
Before the glass windows his rates
“My passing is true; why have you kept
Me waiting all these weeks?”

The Madam looked at him unmoved,
It seemed, and hollered high:
“Persistent Youth, you have to prove
By this paper your grades are true.”

“There’s not a thing I would not do
For you I will but prove.”
“Then go,” said she “to that Window Three
And bring this sheet to thee.”

Without another word, Ruff flew
And went to Window Three
The lady gave the Man his grades
He almost shed a tear!

Then back to the Madam fair he ran,
Unmindful of the rain
His scores are fine but she yelled “Oh God!”
So loud, the crowd’s enthused.

Still in his hand, he held the sheet
Scored stratospheric lofty-high
“With grades like that why’s your name not seen,
On the paper’s Top Ten batch?”

And then he heard a voice, not from
his lips nor from Madam
“Get up,” it said, “you’re on the Eleventh Rank!”
It was the Board Chairman.

*..

Dang! Almost! I’m 0.2 points shy from reaching the tenth rank. Well, that’s life. I should be thankful I even passed the Boards. To that PRC Madam, thank you so much for extending all the help.

This is *sooo the worst poem in history. Normal happy posts will be back in a few days.

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“Ballad of a Passer’s Heart,” a parody of Jose La Villa Tierra’s “Ballad of a Mother’s Heart.” Original version here.