Friday, September 16, 2005

Seeking Sense in Styx

When I told myself that I’m ready to move on, I meant it. I swallowed every consequence, accepted all the pains, and loved all the hurts, ‘till I can no longer feel. I’m left numb, but living; empty, nevertheless purposeless.

Then I woke, like from a long bewildered slumber, to find myself totally uninspired. I no longer glowed, there was no spark, even in my most trying hours. The sadness is palpable, its as if everything has come to a halt and devoured the vigor off me.

Up ‘till someone came along, who I earnestly hope, will bring me back to the heaven I so dearly longed.

There’s a catch though, and it’s way too complicated for this entry. Maybe if I have an entire day with me, I can share the dilemma with you and seek some of your expert advice.

But at present, I know my happiness is still a long long way away. All I can share is this piece of poetry I wrote. And this is dedicated to you, the Man who made me whole again.

To you, my Man, with these words are my heartfelt wishes for your happiness. You may not know me well, yet. And perhaps, it never will. But in my heart are hopes that in this single, passing life of ours, you can get to know me well, love me, and keep me in your heart even for awhile.


Envelop me with your arms, be
My fortress standing proud.

Make me a servant, thou master please
Ask, I will command.

Next to thy mighty bed,
Undress me, unclasping hands

Eluded from this world
Let our soul and spirits rise.

Devout and pure, its only me and you…

Push ‘till I can no longer hold
All the love you have to give

Rosy filled with intense delight
Amidst the darkness of the night

Give me your soul, your self, your spirit
As I come to the climax in this allusive dark

Slid me your entirety, till I bleed till I moan.

Just you and me throughout the dawn

Restless with passion in this eternal slumber.

/rjmc & edp, jr. 15 sep '05


Anonymous said...
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Mr. Schizophrenic said...

Kelan ang next update?! Can't wait to hear the developments of this new found ... Significant Other? :)

ruff nurse-du-jour said...

Not quite sure if he's the new Significant Other for me. Plus the set-up is way too complicated for the two, er, three of us...


icarus said...

if only this poem was for me, i'll be yours forever. damn.

anyway, a few weeks ago i was painting the town. and now i'm in love with someone who is already taken. do you think we share the same fate?

ruff nurse-du-jour said...

yes we do..

but there's still some vestige of hope left in me. when i recall the times we're together, i'm so happy and fulfilled; but the thought of him in someone else's hands fills me with so much fear and pain.

and when that happens, i just murmur the mantra.. "what ruff wants, ruff gets."

and it's not that bad at all.

guile said...

it's beautiful..

ruff nurse-du-jour said...

thanks guile.

whew, it had been quite a while since i last posted a new entry. actually i have been meaning to post that poem for quite some time but due to the apparent lack of artistic bone in my body, and notwithstanding the sake of humiliation in case my SO read it by accident, i had to gather the guts to click the "post" in the blogger... and i can say its a valiant effort for me to do that.

thanks for appreciating my poem... from the bottom of my heart. =)