Start of Something New

I really do miss hospital rounds. All the nursing stuffs, and the people there at my ward—ah, sheer perfection. A few months ago, I was there at our ICU-CVU unit, swooning over the best-looking medical resident who, in my humble opinion, is the most good-looking person in the entire hospital. MD, as I would like to call him, is sort of 30-ish, a chinito, was said to be the best among his batchmates, looks incredible fresh even after a 36-hour shift, and is very nice to the nurses.

We started with the same shifts. MD had just started his rotation to ICU while I was the novice nurse there, so we were both just testing the waters at that time. I used to be the most careful, meticulous, conscientious nurse then, and he just looks so overly confident, exuding a machismo appeal with a boy-next-door charm that every prepubescent girl (and prepubescent boys) panties’ would just pop out of their skimpy skirts with just his glance.

God knows I tried so hard to keep my thirst and itch for that MD. He is such too good to be true. He works well with the staff. Even the supervisor of the unit likes him. And he is in the making of a very good doctor.

So, we became good co-workers, he calls me Sir “Insert My Name Here” and I call him Doctor “Insert Me, er, Insert His Name Here,” he gets updates about patients from time to time, he tells funny anecdotes to me, we monitor patients together—almost the perfect beginning of a fruitful relationship. (Hahaha.) But when our relationship is just starting to flourish, there comes the end of his ICU rotation, and so of mine’s.

I was transferred to the Telemetry Unit. Almost the same staff of nurses but with different set of medical residents. The area is assigned to another male resident—well, okay-looking, nice to the nurses, not-that-confident, and not-the-kind-of-person-I-would-like-to-replace-my-beloved-MD.

Lest did I knew that MD was retained at the ICU. Since the unit was just adjacent to each other, I would always be caught stealing occasional glances at the nearby rooms, catching a little glimpse of his perfect sexy tresses and the black Crocs he wears at work. At times I wanted to ransack the resident’s quarters, close the door, massacre the other female residents, and practice the physiology of conception and fertilization with MD day in and day out, but then poof ends my perennial daydreaming.

Don’t get me wrong here. I’m a good nurse, and I am very professional. But each time his perfect crisp white suit and that sculpted little butt comes into my erotic, er, creative unconscious, everything comes to a blur. A girl could only dream, right?

Though I’ve chickened out to ask him out (god forbids he’s straight), perhaps in my mind I know that MD is better off like that than with someone like me. I want him to become the best Intensivist I will ever meet in my life. I want him to finish his residency, take up his specialty, and be the best doctor who I’ve ever worked with and I will work with in the future. I don’t want him to be the mediocre resident who literally (or accidentally) *killed* a rich tycoon because of a simple procedure went awry and yet still wandering the ward of the hospital I used to work with (perhaps this is in for another story). I just want him to be him. Just like that.

I don’t know what got into me why I’m letting it all out here. Perhaps it is because of the White Party-ish atmosphere in my psyche. Or perhaps it is because I’m torn between going into the White Party or my Co-Worker’s Birthday Celebration tonight. If things remain unresolved until later might as well stay home tonight and watch something happy like High School Musical DVD or have Scrubs/Grey’s Anatomy Marathon and dream of My McDreamy during my night slumber.

Well, that’s my take for the LGBTQ Pride Day. Long live LGBTQs! And remember, we are fabulous.

P. S. I will be posting this entry for a very short duration of time and will be deleted in a matter of days. My MD might read about this and hate me for life. That is a catastrophe.