"Last Night I Heard the Screaming..."

I was browsing the Sunday paper off our porch when I came upon this article with the same title as above written by the superb writer/advocate Bum Tenorio Jr. As I conscientiously read the article, I was surprised to find out that it dealt about domestic violence present among homosexual couples. I was immediately engrossed and enthralled, not only because of my affirmative interest about the topic, but because I (probably) had become a victim of one in my past.

To quote from Bum Tenorio’s article:

“Not many are in the know—or perhaps they are just unmindful and insensitive or simply oblivious—to the fact that domestic violence is NOT just a crime affecting heterosexual couples. The structure and dynamics of homosexual couples are ALSO SIMILAR to the abuses that take place in heterosexual relationship. After all, VIOLENCE IS NOT JUST ABOUT ANGER. It’s about POWER and CONTROL.

“Unlike women, however, who can report cases of domestic abuse to many a women center all over the country, gay and lesbian victims in the Philippines normally do not seek help not because they are ashamed of their plight but because they think there isn’t any help available to them. More often than not, gay people lodge their complaints in the barangay. Many times, the buck stops there.
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“Homophobia truly compounds the problems faced by gay and lesbian victims of domestic violence. The rest of the society may not admit it but I still believe that homophobia — the society’s fear and hatred towards gay and leasbians — is a contributory factor to the difficulties and complexities faced by battered homosexuals. Though there is much tolerance now, the persistent and palpable societal homophobia leads to isolation of the victims, therefore contributing to the violence they undergo.
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“It is always, always unjust and unwarranted to hear heterosexuals saying that a gay couple’s main function for coupling is because of SEX. Look closely here, the configuration of gay and lesbian relationship mirrors that of their male-female counterparts. Unions between two gays or lesbians stream from far more than the desire to have a steady copulating partner. LIKE THE HETEROSEXUALS’ SEARCH FOR A LOVER, HOMOSEXUALS ALSO LOOK FOR LOVE AND LOYALTY, DEVOTION AND DEDICATION, FRIENDSHIP AND FIDELITY, COMMITMENT AND COMPANIONSHIP IN THEIR PARTNER. The many parallels and similarities between a man-woman relationship and man-man or woman-woman relationship make homosexual domestic violence equally alarming as that of the heterosexual’s… Only, there are no 24-hour crisis hotlines or emergency shelters that solely cater to domestic violence in same-sex affair.”


Its extremely gratifying to realize that there are people who still speak out for the oppressed, the exploited and the voiceless in the society. I have personally heard some first-hand accounts on domestic violence among my homosexual friends and it is even widely depicted on our television screens (think Six Feet Under and Nip/Tuck). Why does our homophobic society still thinks of homosexual relationships as subhuman? Is this the impression they want to imprint on the minds and hearts of our youth? That relationships involving same-sex couples are dehumanizing, irrational and absurd?

Lately I’ve got to thinking that domestic violence among homosexual and heterosexual partners does not only involve physical assault or battery, but mostly of the emotional repercussions of every act of violence. The pain of a hurtful blow might subside after weeks but wounding words is even more painful, agonizing, and unbearable for one. Every hurtful word said is an act of violence in itself. No matter how subtle the hurt is, damages will still be done either knowingly or unknowingly inferred.

And then I realized how I had been a victim of one. Like many homosexual people in a relationship, we all had experienced the pain and the hurts of domestic violence in the emotional aspect. Hurtful words are said, so are the consequences and the repercussions. Time might heal all of the corporeal wounds, but the emotional ramifications are much more deafening. And no amount of balm can successfully cure the wounds.

We all had been to several hardships in our relationships, and whether they survived or failed, enduring all the pains is an inevitable reality. Like Agent Clarice Starling in the Silence of the Lambs, we all woke up in the middle of the night to hear the screaming of the lambs, our personal pains, our burdens, our fears, and all we can do is ask:

When will the screaming ever stop?


PS. Kudos to Mr. Bum Tenorio Jr. for his article entitled “Last Night I Heard the Screaming.” I’m encouraging everyone to obtain a copy of June 12, 2005’s edition of The Philippine Star where the original article is published.