Sunday, August 05, 2007

You Drive Me Crazy

it's not the large things that
send a man to the
madhouse. death he's ready for, or
murder, incest, robbery, fire, flood...
no, it's the continuing series of small tragedies
that send a man to the

madhouse...


not the death of his love
but a shoelace that snaps

with no time left ...


Basic neuro-psychiatry taught me that poem by Charles Bukowski, and it is indeed very true. Psychiatric disorders are not always caused by huge life tragedies, but of the series of life experiences that might seem trivial or inconsequential, but do overwhelms a person in the long run, more like:

not the death of his love

but a blog that was not updated

with no time left ...


Just kidding.

This post is supposed to be entitled as "I can diagnose what personality disorder you have by the way you blog!" but due to space constraints, I just used the title of the song of my ex-idol Baldie, er, Britney Spears, to spice things up.


Are you ready for your psychiatric evaluation? Read on.


Listed below are several yes/no questions relating to your attitudes toward life and blogging. Several diagnoses are listed thereafter, to which doctors, nurses, psychiatrists or psychologist, might be familiar about. Ready? Be honest eh?

Situation 1:

Do you suspect, without sufficient basis, that others are exploiting, harming, or deceiving you? Are you always preoccupied with unjustified doubts about the loyalty or trustworthiness of your blog friends? Do you persistenly perceive that your blogroll friends are writing derogatory posts about you? Or suspect that your friends think of your blog as good-for-nothing?


Do you think that Dr. Miranda Grey's (Hale Berry) character in Gothika epitomizes the real you?

Your diagnosis:

PARANOID PERSONALITY DISORDER

Situation 2:

Do you check your grammar, spelling, tenses, text alignment, font size, the position of your widgets, absence of broken links, and number of posts 467,193 times before you hit the PUBLISH NOW button? Do you have the preoccupation with details, rules, lists, order, organization, bodily functions, or schedules to the extent that blogging becomes no longer fun? Are you perfectionist, overconscientious, scrupulous, and inflexible about everything in your blog, and in your life?


Does Michael J. Fox's appearance in Scrubs (Season 4) ring a bell?


Your diagnosis:

OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE PERSONALITY DISORDER


Situation 3:

Are all your posts emotionally cold and detached? Do you have limited capacity to express either positive or negative emotions towards others? Do you have few (if any) close blog friends or relationships? Or do you lack the desire for such? Do you take pleasure from blogging alone, almost always avoiding any personal relationships? Are you always preoccupied with fantasy and introspection?


Does Kat Stratford's (Julia Stiles) performance in 10 Things I Hate About You mirrors your true personality?


Your diagnosis:

SCHIZOID PERSONALITY DISORDER

Situation 4:

Does your blogsite offers step-by-step technical support for any of these topics: organizing a crime syndicate, preparation of illegal drugs, child trafficking and promotion of human slavery, the know-hows of arson and terrorism, the basics of suicide bombing, or embalming living human beings? Do you fail to conform to social norms with respect to lawful behaviors as indicated by repeatedly performing acts that are grounds for arrest? Does a google search of murder, rape, animal cruelty, serial killing, smuggling, theft, child abuse, extortion and larceny (individually or collectively) provides a direct link to your site?


Is The Jigsaw (Tobin Bell) your personal hero?


Your diagnosis:

ANTISOCIAL PERSONALITY DISORDER


Situation 5:

Do you have difficulty making everyday decisions without an excessive amount of advice and reassurance from others? Do you consult 24 of your blogfriends whether or not you should publish your entry that took you 2 weeks of revision thinking that your topic isn’t good enough? Do you check your site counter every 5 minutes and feels helpless when you noticed that the same 00123 visitors haven’t moved from the time elapsed? Do you go to excessive lengths to obtain nurturance and support from others, to the point of volunteering to do things that are unpleasant?


Will Slim (Jennifer Lopez in Enough) play your role when you have your biography converted into the Big Screen?


Your diagnosis:

DEPENDENT PERSONALITY DISORDER

Situation 6:

Do you have a grandiose sense of self-importance? Are you always preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love? Do you think your blog requires excessive admiration and demands that your blogfriends should marvel at your work all the time? Are you often envious of your blogfriends, or do you believe that others are envious of you? Do you check your blog every now and then and adulate your work to the point that you could almost see a reflection of yourself in the computer screen and see perfection in it?


Upon seeing the picture, did you exclaim "Oh My God! Regina George (Rachel McAdams in Mean Girls) is SO SO ME!!!"

Your diagnosis:

NARCISSISTIC PERSONALITY DISORDER

Situation 7:

Are you socially isolated, unattached and withdrawn to reality? Is your blog all about your odd behaviour and thinking, and often with unconventional beliefs such as being convinced of having extra sensory abilities, when in fact you have none? Do you detest visitors on your site? Do you consider your iPod and iBook as your closest friends, it’s as if they reply back when you talk to them?


Is Swimfan your favorite movie and Madison (Erika Christensen) your uber-favorite onscreen character?


Your diagnosis:

SCHIZOTYPAL PERSONALITY DISORDER

Situation 8:

Do you have the tendency to split things as “all-good” or “all-evil,” almost to the point of having unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by extremes of idealization and devaluation? Do you have marked or persistently unstable self-image or sense of self? Does your blog talk about your impulsive and potentially damaging habits of overspending, promiscuous sex, eating disorders, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating, self-mutilation, and suicidal behaviours? Do you often feel empty and dissociated, as if the person writing in your blog is not you?


Do you idolize Timmy York's (Bret Loehr) personality in Identity?


Your diagnosis:

BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER

Situation 9:

Do you always feel a pervasive pattern of social inhibition, feelings of inadequacy, and hypersensitivity to negative evaluation? Do you avoid any activity that involve significant interpersonal contact, because of fears of criticism, disapproval, or rejection, and just live your existence through blogging? Are you always preoccupied with being criticized or rejected with the way you write? Do you view yourself as socially inept, personally unappealing, or inferior to others?


Is seeing Samara in The Ring brings you nostalgic memories of your cherished childhood?

Your diagnosis:

AVOIDANT PERSONALITY DISORDER

Situation 10:

Is your blog’s style of speech excessively impressionistic and exaggerated, almost theatrical and melodramatic? Is it full of inappropriately sexually seductive or provocative photos, it’s as if you demand to be at the center of attention? Is your life characterized by a pattern of excessive emotionality and attention-seeking, including an excessive need for approval and inappropriate seductiveness? Do you consistently use your physical appearance to draw other’s attention to yourself?


Oooops. No Reaction. KRIS IS MY PERSONAL SAVIOR. Hehehe.


Are you a member of the Steve Stifler (The Uber-yummy but nasty Sean William Scott) fan club?

Your diagnosis:

HISTRIONIC PERSONALITY DISORDER

*

If you’re thinking that such disorders are mere figments of my imagination, think again. Such disorders are established psychiatric diagnoses or mental illnesses as listed in the DSM-IV-TR (the masterlist of all mental disorders). But worry not, provided they do not interfere with your work and social obligations, you’re perfectly fine, normal, healthy, exceptional, perfect. Just remember:

with each broken shoelace
out of one hundred broken shoelaces,

one man, one woman, one
thing

enters a

madhouse.


so be careful

when you

bend over.


Be careful when you blog over.
=)

*

P. S. Kris Aquino photo from abuggedlife.com, Britney Spears' photo from Yahoo! Music and the rest of movie images from Yahoo! Movies. Some information taken from DSM-IV-TR Manual, Wikipedia, and Keltner, Videbeck and Mosby's Psychiatry.

45 comments:

bananas said...

Where do I fall? Damn. It's even difficult for me to figure myself out.

Histrionic personality disorder to me sounds attractive.

saisho said...

cool post. but i don't know whhere i belong. have to read it all over again. lol

cool blog.

james said...

i can relate to the following,

1.OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE PERSONALITY DISORDER
2. SCHIZOID PERSONALITY DISORDER
3. DEPENDENT PERSONALITY DISORDER
4. SCHIZOTYPAL PERSONALITY DISORDER
5. BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER

yeah. that's me. cool. marami pala talagang sira ang ulo ko. haha.

OJT?

it's great. and at the same time, it sucks. go figure.

i'm just taking this whole thing as a "tutorial" before i dive into the corporate world. hehe.

peace.

Kiks said...

Parang napakaperfect ko to even have any of these disorders? Ay, megalomaniac personality disorder. Ching!

† alleicarg † said...

wow???
i have blogged about this..
here's mine...

http://alleicarg.blogspot.com/2007/06/lotus-is-in-bloom.html


how about yours?

Myk said...

Haha. Cool. I'm half an OCPD. But in blogging, around 85% OCPD! LOL.

I love the personality disorders in psychiatric nursing. :)

Bino/Geno said...

Ahaha. Personality disorders. Actually abnormal psych is my favorite subj. Im a psych major by the way. Hehe.

I've always diagnosed myself to have borderline PD and schizoid PD. Weird combination huh?

ruff nurse-du-jour said...

Thanks for the visit BANANAS. Yeah, choosing one from the ten listed could be a bit confusing (and tricky too). Histrionic personality disorder looks really good, I would pretty pick that one myself too. Though it’s kinda getting Borderline lately. Just kidding.

Good thing nothing stands out, really. You should be thankful for that. Really thankful… =)

ruff nurse-du-jour said...

Thanks for dropping by SAISHO. Feel free to do so, and while you’re at it, you could also pick one, or two, or three perhaps. If I could indulge you with a tip: Antisocial and Borderline PD requires mandatory institutionalization so I’d better steer away from those two. Thanks for the compliments, too. =) See you soon bro!

ruff nurse-du-jour said...

Whoa JAMES, are you serious about your picks? My psychiatry professor would always say that a little bit of everything is normal. Persistence, however, makes a whole lot of difference, and turns everything into a big mess. Good thing you’re still running free eh? Having any delusions/hallucinations lately? Just let me know okay?

And yeah, by the way you make your choices, I can see that you’re really an interesting person. It’s good to hear that (it seems that) you’re enjoying your OJT. Yup, that’s a good thing, slowly, one thing at a time. =) Be well always.

ruff nurse-du-jour said...

Hey KIKS. Haha. I’d figure you’d make that choice. Denial is really a good thing. Just kidding kiks. Haaaay, seriously, I’m thinking I’m a tragedy waiting to happen, each diagnosis, really, would perfectly fit my profile. A few more provocation and I think I will end up as antisocial, euphemism for psycho-killer. =)

ruff nurse-du-jour said...

Yup, dropped by ALLEICARG! Dependent, Paranoid and Borderline eh? That’s quite an interesting combination. Nursing student, I guess? I’m more of the Narcissistic type, just kidding, a Histrionic and a Borderline PD would fit me best. Splitting works well for me, I’m a bit depersonalized at times, and am always drowning in my self-proclaimed delusions of grandeur.

A surf of my site would also reveal lots of positive symptoms: neologism, clang association, flight of ideas, verbigeration, perseveration and looseness of association perfectly hidden in the lines of my post. And I guess you’ve guessed it right, blame it on too much dopamine and schizophrenia.

ruff nurse-du-jour said...

Hi myk. Yeah I’ve read about your OCD vs OCPD post. I thought you might be really familiar with the personality disorders. Hehe. I have a love-hate feeling for psychiatry you know. But if you’ll ask me, sexual disorders are my *uber-favorite topic. I don’t know—I got high grades on sexual disorder exams. And childhood disorders pa pala, and eating disorders, too. Perhaps, psychiatry is good after all.

ruff nurse-du-jour said...

Thanks for the visit geno! Psych major ka pala. Hmmm, there’s something in the human brain/mind that makes learning about it interesting right? Studying human behaviours, be it normal or otherwise, is a really an enlightening experience.

I never thought of myself as a schizoid type, I’m more of an extrovert kasi, and I looove companionship, Histrionic would perfectly suit my profile. And borderline? That we have in common!

Drake said...

Lots of info you got there Ruff. Your post's very interesting. If I'd choose, I'd have OC Personality Disorder. But lately, I've been less of such. I believe I still have a tad of Avoidant Personality Disorder as I was into such behavior when I was younger.

james said...

no, i'm good. no hallucinations whatsoever.

i'm sober. atleast for today. hehe.

i am aware of these things. i'm aware that some things are happening inside my head. that's why i named my blog "mental fixation". haha. somehow, i figured out that i needed some fixing to do.

but how do you fix what's inside your head?

i dont know. but i can try.

i'll get there. hehe.

Kiks said...

You'll get the hang of it eventually, Ruff. I don't think you'd turn into a Dexter. Maybe an Eve perhaps?

† alleicarg † said...

who can beat james?
=)

saisho said...

after rereading it, i still can't diagnose myself. lol. though i call myself a narcissist, i know i do not have the NARCISSISTIC PERSONALITY DISORDER. weird. But i do tend to have a bit of the OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE PERSONALITY DISORDER, and a bit of the SCHIZOID PERSONALITY DISORDER. I’m not really fond of these science or medical things. but i had a lot fun reading this post. and i'll add you to my links. later.

cory said...

uie nakarelate ako syempre kabaro tayong bsn. haha! nice post, kaaliw!

ruff nurse-du-jour said...

Thanks for the visit drake! Glad you liked my post! Thanks for the compliments too.

It was said that people with OC-PD fears of losing control, of being helpless and of being alone. A sense of obsessiveness and compulsiveness is always healthy as it helps us manage our frustrations. Our compulsions provide a channel to our inner disappointments, and repetitive acts deflects our personal anxieties. I wouldn't blame many people for having such disorders, it is such human nature to maintain a profound sense of control of our lives, and when we ultimately lose control--that is the real tragedy.

Avoidant? That's quite interesting. But yeah, the thought of someone criticizing or rejecting you or the thing you do really sucks. =)

ruff nurse-du-jour said...

That’s good to hear JAMES. Insight in psychiatry has been conceptualized into three components: awareness of illness (check), need for treatment (check), and attribution of symptoms (no check). Insight appears to be central to people seeking help and complying with the prescribed treatment in all fields of life. The fact that each of us here, yup, you included, knows that there’s something *awry or *odd going on in and out our heads is healthy—the more difficult part is to find out what caused the disturbance, to accept that there is a need for change, and to determine what change to implement.

While were at it, all we could do is to look out for the cure. Introspection works well, and is very helpful in developing a personal insight. And sometimes, an outside view could prove useful as well. DON'T WORRY JAMES, WE’LL GET THERE.

ruff nurse-du-jour said...

Oh my god KIKS just when I thought of doing something like that of DEXTER’S. I so so so loved his character at that show. It’s so relatable. Its so so ME!!! Haha. I could imagine doing that *sane person profile in the morning and a psycho-killer by night. And in my show, I would kill every person who broke my heart. Haha. Just kidding! I hope.

(Not familiar with Eve kiks, eh, is that the TV series too?) =) hehe.

ruff nurse-du-jour said...

Yup ALLEICARG! That’s what I thought too. Just kidding. He’s actually good though, as his insights unto himself are very clear and lucid. Very conducive for therapy or something. Hahaha. What would you recommend? ECT? Psychoanalysis? etc.

ruff nurse-du-jour said...

Thanks for the interest SAISHO. Yeah, it could be a little frustrating to pick a diagnosis, particularly when nothing really rings a bell. It’s good though that no particular one stands above the rest. That is sanity at its finest. Glad you liked the post despite it being too medical, etc.

ruff nurse-du-jour said...

Hi CORY! Thanks for the consult. =) I thought it would be *too boring if I won’t include a bit of pop culture in the post, it would look too medical/geeky, hence, the movie metaphors. Hope it became helpful, and a bit entertaining too. Thanks for dropping by fellow nurse!

Adam said...

I don't think Britney Spears will ever look that hot ever again!!

† alleicarg † said...

kung iisipin mo..
contradicting ang dependent at ang paranoid personality disorders.
kya cguro admitted sa borderline.?

and james, i think he's doing just fine..
na-diagnose nya sarili nya eh..

wag na kuryentehin.

=D

james said...

i'm trying this new thing where i analyze myself everytime i'm in those state. but everytime i do, i blur things and my logic gets the best of me.

maybe an intervention from outside my head may do the trick. haha.

masyadong maraming bagay ang umiikot sa ulo ko. hehe. kaya nga minsan, mas nagiging productive ang buhay ko kapag nakatunganga ako. ahahhaha. i'm one weird boy.

but i can assure you that i am normal. yeah.

james said...

well, almost normal. haha.

Jhed said...

Cool post.

I'm a big spelling freak, and before I publish my post.. I make sure every word is spelled correctly. If ever I miss one, I'll immediately correct it. So I guess I fall in the Obsessive-Compulsive state.

Also, I love being the center of attention.. so yeah, I also fall in the histrionic personality disorder.

Hehe. And yeah, I find Sean William Scott hot too! :P

ruff nurse-du-jour said...

I guess so ADAM. I used to love Britney before he got overly Histrionic, Borderline and Antisocial. =) Just kidding. Thanks for the tip re: my template Adam, will definitely try it one of these days.

ruff nurse-du-jour said...

Yeah ALLEI! If I’m not mistaken paranoid belongs to cluster A (odd and eccentric) and dependent to cluster C (anxious and fearful), so they are really on a different behavioral classification. While Borderline is in cluster B (dramatic, emotional and erratic). Hmmm. At least there’s one category for every cluster.

I wonder why they removed Passive-Aggressive Personality Disorder, the Self-Defeating Personality Disorder, and the Sadistic Personality Disorders. Hmmm.

ruff nurse-du-jour said...

I agree. JAMES, you’re doing fine. No need to worry. Looking deeply upon yourself is a good exercise. It gives you a clear sense of reality and it provides you with more awareness about yourself. Kudos to you for doing that.

And sometimes when things are looking cloudy or mixed-up, a short relaxation strategy—distraction, controlled breathing, imagery, even BLOGGING—could provide the needed relief. No need for psychoanalysis, no need for ECT. =)

ruff nurse-du-jour said...

Thanks for dropping by JHED! Thanks for the comments too. =) And congrats on your totally deserved award!

I could be a bit OC too with some of my entries, particularly with my grammar, tenses, and spelling (though I have to admit I have some writing issues myself). And a little bit paranoid too as this blog has an unpleasant history of unexpected visitors (professors, innocent family members, ex-lovers, etc). Not really histrionic, exaggerated extrovert perhaps. And Sean, is indeed, annoyingly gorgeous. Oooh, you’re a nursing student pala. Hehe. =)

kc said...

haha. i think i fit the #2 obsessive-compulsive. i check the paragraph alignment all the time. jeez!

even in real life, i'm branded as OC. my friends laugh at my bookshelf because the books are arranged according to height. but i'm not that OC because i also make a big mess and wouldn't clean up after. i think that makes me one step less of an 0C.

ruff nurse-du-jour said...

I'm not the OC-OC type when I was younger. Not even when I was still a student. I know that in the line of our job, a sense of OCness is imperative, but even when i worked as a staff nurse before, i still could not extract some OC-OC-ness in me. I dont know. Siguro kc I'm a little bit pabaya, and my parents are not that anal either.

Narcissistic pwede, histrionic din, a little bit paranoid. A dash of this, a speck of that. =)

Thanks for the visit kc! Have a great week!

JOSH said...

bravo for this post! i'm a mix of everthing! now when can i have my consultations in mandaluyong, hehehe! sayo na lang rufruf!

Joseph M. Gryskiewicz said...

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