Saturday, August 11, 2007

The Scientist

I have a thing for chain mails. Like pubic lice, syphilis and ex-boyfriends, they come and leave, and simply won’t go away. No matter how much you trash, scrap or delete them, it’s as if, by some karmic reincarnation, they do come back, bigger, brighter, nastier, and much more believable than ever. The gullible/innocent/innocuous reader, in order to shun away death of a family member, love tragedies, certain disease unbeknownst to many, and bad luck, is then forced against his/her will to click the forward button, hence, the cyclic metamorphosis.

Reading some of them could be helpful, but most of them are traumatizing at times. There was a time when all I ate was orchid soup because a mail said that rice, shrimp, fish, meat, fastfood burgers, noodles, barbecue, soda, and water could kill you without you knowing it.


In line of my Unbearable Lightness, I have listed some chain mail myths in this post and tried, to the best of my ability, to elucidate the bare truth from just plain lies. Ready? Ready!



Premise: Bill Gates is sharing with you his fortunes.


Story:
Forwarding an e-mail that originated from AOL/Microsoft will guarantee you—the susceptible reader— immeasurable riches. To prove this, Paul, Andrea’s third cousin and Mitch’s half-brother, from which Brian worked as a networking agent, who happened to be Reese’s ex-BF and Melinda’s estranged husband, received 1/10th of Bill Gates’ fortune and is now swimming in money. Remember, you are tracked!



The Truth:
Unless you belong to the Gates’ clan, you will never, ever, even in your wildest dreams, inherit a single dollar from Bill. This hoax had been circulating in the Net since 1997, only the name of the companies and the rewards changing periodically, but the premise is still the same: lure gullible e-mail addicts to send spam mails in the promise of material reward.


Premise: Drinking soda directly from cans contaminated with rat urine could kill.


Story:
A woman who went boating in Texas/Belgium drank from a can of soda she stored at the refrigerator on her boat. The day after, she was taken into the ICU, and two days later she died. Autopsy revealed that she died from a bacterial infection, and the soda can from which she had drunk (she didn’t use a glass), is teeming with microorganisms, the source of which is from rat’s urine.




The Truth:
The source of the story is indeterminable but the pathogenesis is plausible: and the disease, as we know, is leptospirosis. When secretions from rats, swine, cats, and cattle infected with leptospires comes in contact with abraded skin or mucous membrane, the bacteria invades the host and produces the disease. Knowing how soda cans are stockpiled in this country, and the prevalence of rodents elsewhere, the possibility of rats peeing in soda cans is very likely, hence, the compulsory use of glasses and straw.



Premise: Eating sushi will cause your brain to become infected with maggots.


Story:
A certain Japanese glutton is very fond of devouring tonloads of raw fishes like there’s no tomorrow. He experienced severe throbbing headache, went to the doctor, maggots are found in his scalp, and he underwent surgery. The alleged picture is shown below (may be a bit graphic: to view actual size image, open link in a new window).


The Truth: Ingesting raw, undercooked or improperly-prepared fish bearing tapeworms could indeed cause a parasitic infestation known as diphyllobothriasis. I know this one as I reported this case in my Microbiology and Parasitology class. This is a true disease; however, no medical literature supports fish-tapeworm brain infestation. Therefore, it is a hoax.


Premise: Amanda Bundy, a 6 y/o child, and Amy Bruce, a 7 y/o child are both dying of cancer, prayers and chain mails needed, respectively.


Story: A chain e-mail, circulating since 1998, states a certain Amanda Bundy, a 6 y/o child dying of a malignant type of brain tumor that has spread to her chest and abdomen. A family friend was asking for prayers. Amy Bruce, on the other hand, has the same predicament, only funner. She was even able to pen a poem entitled “Slow Dance” (…life is a race, so take it slower, hear the music before your song is over) and a $3 contribution will be donated by the American Cancer Society for every e-mail forwarded.



The Truth:
Ready for this one? Amanda Bundy is a real, genuine, true, authentic, bona fide cancer patient. The caveat: she had already recovered from that cancer, yup, ever since 1998. Prayers really work eh? So stop forwarding that message anymore.

Amy Bruce, just like Baby Natalie, Arlington, BlahBlah, and Woohoo, is a complete hoax. American Cancer Society, AOL, ZDNet, NY Hospital, Kapuso Foundation and even Honda Motors, will not give that imaginary child a single penny. And that “Slow Dance” poem, not her work! It was a masterpiece by David Weatherford, a child psychologist. You can read his works here.



Premise: Eating noodles kill, celebrities included.


Story:
A student in UK with 2 years fetish for cup noodles died as the wax lining in cup noodles accumulated in the poor man’s stomach and coated his gut onto innumerable waxy layers. A celebrity in the Philippines, on the other hand, was said to have eaten cup noodles the night before his unanticipated death, the purported cause of the demise.




The Truth:


The UK guy: Cup noodles (plastic, Styrofoam, tetra) are not lined with wax, nor are the noodle themselves. The containers are made to withstand excessive heat and are in no way, covered with a waxy lining. This story is a hoax. In my expert medical opinion, the guy either died from (1) pancreatitis or (2) malnutrition.


The Filipino celebrity: The cause of death of this guy is a well-kept secret among their clan. However, my sense of logic and deduction told me otherwise. This celebrity died from… tadaa… Sudden Unexpected Death Syndrome also known as bangungot in vernacular, which may either be an Acute Hemorrhagic Pancreatitis or Brugada Syndrome in medicalese.



P
ancreatitis happens when your digestive juices autodigest your pancreas causing shock, massive internal bleeding and death, and it is usually due to alcoholism, while Brugada Syndrome is a lethal arrhythmia (fatal heartbeats) common among Asians, the etiology is unknown but is said to be due to a genetic heart defect. Therefore, not noodles, but alcohol and a heart disease killed the young matinee idol.

Implications: do not sleep drunk, have a routine ECG, no noodles at bedtime please, and one serving of noodle is enough (it expands in the stomach you know).


*


Rule of thumb: Any e-mail message that starts out by telling you that it isn't a chain letter most likely is. And oh, this isn’t a chain letter, by the way. Kindly send this post to 2,978 of your friends or your head will explode.

You don’t want to believe me? A certain Dudong from Naypyidaw, after reading this entry without posting a comment suddenly developed a terrible headache. After a while, his head exploded. While a certain reader named “Insert Your Name Here” immediately posted a comment here and was blessed with countless riches, an uber-gorgeous partner, and a body to die for. Wink!

*

Thanks kiks for the suggestions.
Images from Wikipedia, Flickr and Geocities.

47 comments:

Kiks said...

Uhm.... kinda graphic. If you can do away with the red on some of the pictures... (nodding) they can stay.

But the amount of information? Awesome. You actually do this on a daily basis while studying/working as a nurse?

Fantab! You're like Rogue except you siphon information a la Forge. Galing!

X-man ka, Ruff?

MISTERHUBS said...

There's also this chain mail about a guy in Nigeria. I forgot the details but it's some money-making scam.

ruff nurse-du-jour said...

Thanks for the visit KIKS. OOoops sorry. Yeah, tried to resize the anatomical-related pics to a minimum. Thanks for the input and the suggestions kiks. =) Really appreciated it.

Hmmmm, I'm still on a leave kiks, *might* be back on work this september pa, kaya i'm making the most out of my free time. Thanks for the compliments kiks, though some of the info are "just something that i know" (quote borrowed from Ugly Betty and Henry). But thanks.. lumalaki naman ulo ko nyan. Haha.

Hmmmmm, more of a Storm, or a Jean Grey, but Forge ala Rogue is alright as well! Hope you're getting will kiks. See you soon..

ruff nurse-du-jour said...

Hi MISTERHUBS! Thanks for coming back.

Yeah, I forgot about that chain mail. That mail was contagious.. I couldn't believe that some people are still falling for such ploys. It's amazing how banks in Nigeria would have so much money whence it's GDP is much much lower than that of the Philippines!! =)

And the chain mail about love, etc.? I have been sending those for years and so far, all I've got are failed relationships and SEB tragedies. Just kidding. =)

Thanks again for dropping by misterhubs. Nice, funny post you got there. =)

Reyville of Simply Manila said...

I agree with Kiks. I have a nurse friend and he can't even fine enough time to sleep. And look at you here. U're simply fantastic, Ruff.

Anyhow, can we just guillotine those bunch of liars? I hope a bill will be passed allowing the government to intervene and execute all those who started these chain mails. HaHa. Those will take a lot of investigation though.

arlo said...

kaya ako, when i sniff a tinge of chailmail sa inbox, pintot agad ng delete button, sabay thought balloon "bad luck ng neknek mu!"

kc said...

haha. nice one ruff!

i never believed in chain mail. in fact, i hate it. lalo na yung chain sms.

that's why i want to make a chain sms that goes: "send this message to 1,290 friends of yours in different cell networks so that you'll receive check operator services as a reward for being dumb enough to believe this".

† alleicarg † said...

i don't do chains..
wee..
i don't want my brain to explode either. ehehe..

yung pubic chorva totoo ba yun?? heheh..

and, the man who underwent brain surgery.. did he survive?

saisho said...

i erase half of the email i receive, specially those chain-letters-stuff. irritating. and about the noodles... whew, good to hear. i love noodles! lol.

ruff nurse-du-jour said...

Thanks REYVILLE. I’m flattered naman by your compliments. I’m on an official hospital leave don’t worry. When work *hopefully resumes mid-September, taking care of this site would be damn, damn difficult. But thanks, reyville, for always dropping by!

Hmmm. Remember, GMA-7’s defamatory chain mail about Kris Aquino sometime in early 2000’s? I believe the case went to court but I think it was either dismissed (as the case was lacking in sufficient evidence) OR dropped by Kris herself. Either way, these chain mails will be here to stay. Sana nga malasin na lang ang gumagawa ng mails na ganito. Hehehe.

ruff nurse-du-jour said...

Hi ARLO!!! Yeah, that’s what I do too. And so far, the only bad luck I’m getting are occasional break-outs and bad hair days. Who would believe that *NOT forwarding chain mails would kill your entire family right?

Because of that comment, you will be endowed with prosperous fortune, a loving partner and good health. =) I hope.

ruff nurse-du-jour said...

Hi KC. Glad you liked the post. The thing that is more annoying than chain mails? Chain SMS. And the weird thing about Chain SMS is their insensitivities about religion and spirituality. It’s so threatening, like if you won’t send that message, God/Mama Mary won’t bless your family or something. Isn’t personal faith enough?

And good luck isn’t something you’re always given. We can’t have the best of luck all the time. But that’s just me, I think. =)

ruff nurse-du-jour said...

Hi ALLEICARG. How did you get this name by the way? I’m really into it. Hehe. Don’t worry, heads exploding are just hoaxes. The picture looks real right, it’s a scene from a movie (I couldn’t recall the title anymore).

Just kidding about the pubic lice. They do go away, but they’re exceptionally persistent. One minute they’re gone, then they’re back, gone, there again, gone, and so forth. Topical Kwell, and balding *it, is the treatment for such.

The brain image is a hoax. It’s an actual human being, but, a cadaver at that. And those creepy crawlies in the brain are just maggots (placed at the brain for unknown reasons). Nope, not fish tapeworms. Fish tapeworms look like white tape measures, and they’re loooonnnnggg. You can google it.. I know you want to. =)

ruff nurse-du-jour said...

Hi SAISHO. Loved this name too. =) Ooops, another thing more annoying that chain mail and chain SMS? SPAMS! From couture shops to online pharmacies—they’re far far more infuriating than mails of bad luck and untimely deaths. They’re so irritating I agree. Bakit pa kc may mga chain mails eh. Hehehe.

And about noodles, yup, feel free to munch more. Just remember, minimize noodles at bedtime, one *solo* serving is enough, do not mix noodles with alcohol, and do not put too much salt. =)

engz said...

elow..thanks for visiting my blog ha? yours is one of my favorites. my yahoo account as well as our company email account has been receiving numerous emails about a certain fortune ekek in a bank- the owner is already dead according to them. asar na asar ako kasi everyday talaga me ganun...Godbless.

ruff nurse-du-jour said...

Thanks for stopping by ENGZ! You're always welcome. It's a nice read by the way. And thanks for liking my posts. Expect more good posts in the following days. Hahaha. I hope. =)

Yeah, I forgot to include that "bank scam" in my last entry, but that one has been persistently circulating in the Net ever since uber-rich people from Nigeria/Tanzania/Burkina Faso or Lesotho started dying and leaving you his tremendous fortunes. That chain mail's utterly funny. Who would expect that poor a country could produce such huge amounts of money? Well, that's just me. =) Best thing to do: DELETE. =) Thanks for dropping by engs. Appreciated your visit!

kc said...

haha. you're right ruff, spams are also annoying. i also received a lot of those burkina faso bank thingies. i just delete them.

naisip ko lang yung about the soda can with rat pee. hindi naman ganong kabilis ang incubation period atsaka malamang renal failure ang ikakamatay nung patient. sus. i think they should do research para mas convincing. hmpf.

=)

ruff nurse-du-jour said...

Thanks KC. Yeah! If I were them, I would just donate the money against poverty, malnutrition or AIDS. Diba sa Africa prevalent yun? Tapos sa RP pa nila ido-donate yung money? We have problems of our own. We don't need their money! (Haha. Yabang no!)

But yeah, I was thinking that the pt was already old, meron pang co-morbidities, which I think is diabetes or hypertension (kc American eh, hehe), kaya mahina na ang kidneys. I think the story was a bit exaggerated. Though meron din daw case dito sa RP na same ang manner of contracting the bacteria. I just have to find that one out.

=)

† alleicarg † said...

yayayay??

GRACIELLA? hehe..

it's my name.. reversed. ehe..
really interesting topics you have here.. lalo dumadami iniisip ko. hehe..

and about my post, i'll just reply here coz my dad reads my blog.. or.. what do you think? ilalagay ko ba dun? hehe..

anyways, yeah i love him.. kahit marami na xang kapalpakang ginawa.. ewan ko ba bakit xa pa. hehe..


actually kami na naman ngayon(kahit
10 times ata nagbreak na kami.. and we were off for a month.),.. but then yun nga, kami nanaman.we're not together right now..

i posted that because i wanted my father to see it.. and sana mabasa nga ni mojo jojo yung sulat nya na pinost ko.. because i'm counting on him..and hoping na magagawa nga nya yung promises nya. sigh.. mukha nakong love bug dito. hehe

and you're right. hope.
ako na ata ang pinakapersistent na tao pagdating sa ganyang bagay..
hope na matanggap xa ng family ko.. at maging masaya din sa huli..

bagyo kc! hehe..

thanks sa attention.

=)

Daizuke said...

I got tons of chainmails in my Inbox... I just delete some after I read them.... Some are pretty hilarious while others gives you nothing...

Hmm.. Dropping by! :-)

netherchild said...

I believe i read it right? You got ex-bf's? Gawd. I didnt know you were, uhmmm. NVM. Sorry for not being updated haha.

and well, nice hoxes collection you got there, although I beg to disagree with posting Rico Yan's photo as a victim of Pancreatitis. I know his death was due to BANGUNGOT as what we live to know. I believe so too, until I met my 3rd year professor. He was the doctor who attended to Yan's body and examined it. Due to media and the government's pressure put to him (Yan was an ambassdor for youth I believe), the truth wasn't brought about. But since my professor is now dead and we have a new f*cking government leader now, I'll share the truth with you. Hold your breath.

Rico Yan died of drug overdosed. Its the truth. May he RIP.

Jhed said...

Chain mails... AUTO-DELETE! LOL! They are as good as spam. Ugh.

adam said...

yeah don't you just hate pubic lice? I know I do! Anyway, excellent post!

This post oddly goes hand in hand with my explosive diarrhea post at my blog :S

Q The Conqueror said...

Hey! Where's my money and body to die for and super hot lover?! ooh..OOh! OooOOOOoooh!

ruff nurse-du-jour said...

Oooh GRACIELLA!!! Nicey nicey. Love the name! Sure, sure, you can reply here anytime. Whatever/wherever you feel comfortable doing or posting. Thanks nga pala for liking some of my posts.

No relationship is perfect. Even the most picturesque relationships, they have innate flaws that may/may not be visible on the outside. Siguro the reason why your family could not accept him is the fact that they pick on his flaws, that his positive traits (I know na meron naman) are overshadowed. Hence, dapat pa-good-shot lagi para okay kay dad. =)

And sometimes, promises are meant to be broken. If you think na marami pa siyang mga kapalpakang gagawin, try to work things out among the both of you. If you love him, go, fight for him. If you think he'll be better without you, then surrender. Basta don't make decisions alone. Dapat consensual para may mutual agreement. Either way, mas magiging fulfilling ang relationship niyo knowing that you both made your choices, and no one's hurt in the end.

Hope your dad wouldn't read this post, by the way. Medyo magulo talaga pag love talks, esp me giving advices when all my relationships have failed *yet. =) Be well allei. Take care always!

ruff nurse-du-jour said...

Thanks for the visit DAIZUKE!!!

Yeah, whenever the subject clearly states or covertly implies a FORWARD message, the mail directly goes to the trash. Wala nang tanung-tanong, delete agad. I read them sometimes, they evolve you know, to see if the mail has already been changed/altered, pero the essence, the message, and the bad luck still remains the same. And so far, I haven't gained a thing. Good luck siguro. Hehehe.

Hmmm, a breather, though once in a while, is always therapeutic. Loosen up, 'wag work ng work, open yourself up to new possibilities, remember, true fun and true love might be just around the corner. Hmmm... I miss makati life. The urban life is intoxicating and the sight is always breathtaking. =) Wish I could be back. Hehehe. Goodluck on your wonderful job! And the appetite, a bit moderation if you may. Hehehe. Thanks for dropping by dude.

ruff nurse-du-jour said...

Thanks for the visit NETHER. Good to see you again. Hmmm, about the ex'es, that's just a metaphor, but yeah, I do have some. Sorry if it caught you off-guard.

Actually, *THAT thing was something I’m trying to veer away from. And yeah, I believe you nether. The bangungot was a cover-up, especially that the results of the autopsy weren't revealed in public. I couldn't find a single proof about that drug overdose rumour until NOW. Gosh, this was first-hand new information for me! Oh, it was indeed, true, after all.

Celebrity cover-up talaga no? I heard those drugs were given by Dominic and Janna Victoria themselves, and there were some hookers on that same night. Oooh I'm hoping what I last said were just rumours. Thanks for the information Nether, they're really helpful! Definitely cleared up a lot of rumours!

ruff nurse-du-jour said...

Hi JHED! Thanks for the visit. Yes they do. It's amazing right? They do keep on coming back no matter how much you delete them. Does anyone *ever get rich by passing those chain mails? I for one, don't know anyone (except for the companies listed for promotions I guess). =)

ruff nurse-du-jour said...

Hi ADAM! Glad to see you here! Hmm about the pubic lice: I guess I do hate them. As much as I would like to know the feeling, I'm having the inkling that naaah, I'm fine with having none. =) Thanks for liking this post.

I also search BMJ Clinical Evidence and Entrez PubMed for the information (though you're in luck if ever you can get past the abstract at PubMed without paying). But yeah, I've read about your post re: "bloody poop," maybe I'll try to also look for my eccentric google searches. If I got the time.

Nice, witty post by the way. I hope *he'll get to read your entry. =)

ruff nurse-du-jour said...

Hi Q!! Nice to see you back here. Hmmm, welcome back Q.

About the money, they're still in a Nigerian/South African bank eh. I still have to follow Andrar Moshinev's mail instructions to deposit money or something. =) And who needs a body to die for when you've got the super hot civet lover, right? =)

Myk said...

Haha. Thank you for clarifying some of those. I never really liked chain messages. In fact, I abhor them, especially when they involve God in it (like a miracle will happen when you send this to blah blah blah and you shall have bad luck if you don't). You see, God doesn't work that way. His blessings, if they are to come, shall indeed come. The sending of some child's play chain message is not in any way going to determine if you are to receive blessing or not. And there's no such thing as LUCK anyway.

ruff nurse-du-jour said...

Perfectly said. Incorporating religious matters into chain mails/sms is definitely crossing the line. Faith and belief is definitely what matters, and not how much time, money and load you spent sending such threatening, insensitive mails. Like what I said, isn’t personal faith enough?

And good luck isn’t something you’re always given. God's blessings, no matter what, will be here to stay--no matter how many chain mails you send or not. Glad to see you back myk.

chase said...

chain mail#2: hmmm, never really thought about getting lepto on cans.. okai i'm scared.

my father says don't eat noodles too much coz it will make you lampa. hehe
ano ba yan.. kakaloka

there was this chain mail bout tommy hilfiger saying racist remarks in oprah. he said, filipinos are not worthy of wearing his clothe line.

ruff nurse-du-jour said...

@CHASE: glad to see you back chase!!! even though there's still that remote chance of contracting lepto from soda cans, I still couldn't kick out my habit of drinking straight from such. so far, nothing's wrong with me naman, and i certainly hope there'll be nothing wrong in the future too. =)

and about noodles, blame it on too much calories. noodles are rich carbohydrates-wise, but the protein content is almost non-existent.

heard about that oprah and tommy hilfiger rumor too, and i doubt its authenticity; on oprah being snubbed by hermes though, she admitted (in her show) its true. =)

chase said...

yup. better safe than sorry.
i didn't know about the hermes-oprah bout. i guess they are so stupid for not entertaining the most influential person in the century.

JOSH said...

kaya nga ba now-a-days, i shy from eating noodles at nyt,just to be safe, hehee. So whats ur comment to those drinking soda in cans with straws?

Ur post here are interesting & makes u think deeper on issues, thnx ruff ruff? (OK lang if i col u dat! lol! =)

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