Littlest Things

I was rummaging through some of my stuffs and came upon these short interesting anecdotes about some ex-patients. Between the existential me and the phenomenological you, there’s a little lesson that we can extract in these chronicles though, and I hope you’ll find them useful whenever you eat a certain fruit, deal with pesky insects, or have your private, sexy times. Ready? Read on.



The Seed
Grandpa’s Fetish Goes Awry

An 86-year-old male consulted the ER because of gastrointestinal distress. He had several episodes of vomiting fecaloid material accompanied by lower abdominal pains. An admitting diagnosis of non-specific gastroenterocolitis (inflammation of stomach and intestines) was made and he was suspected to have intestinal obstruction.

Upon further history taking, the client admitted of having the fondness of ingesting seeds (particularly santol seeds), upon which his relatives suspect for the client’s inability to pass stools. Colonoscopy was done and showed intestinal obstruction with necrosis (death) of intestinal mucosa. Results also show a characteristic metaplasia of the mucosa, confirmatory of a Colon Cancer.

The Mosquito
Bite Me

A 17-year-old female comes from a family of beauty queens. She joined Miss Puerto Princesa 2006 and was the incumbent titleholder. The day after the pageant, she experienced febrile convulsions, passage of black urine, and uncontrollable chills.

She was admitted at a local hospital but her condition worsened. She became unresponsive, comatose, and was hooked to mechanical ventilator. She was then transferred to our institution for further management and evaluation.

She was confined in the ICU with a diagnosis of Cerebral Malaria vs. Viral Encephalopathy, Status Epilepticus (uncontrolled seizures), Atypical Complicated Pneumonia, Kidney Failure and Fulminant Sepsis (widespread blood infection). She was on ventilator for 6 months… and counting.

The Prince Albert
In or Out, Is It In or Out?

A 28-year-old married female consulted the ER because of vaginal spotting, accompanied by local swelling, tenderness and discharge at the pelvic region.

Further history taking revealed that her partner used to have a “Prince Albert” (Link NSFW) type of penile piercing, which was later found to be missing after sexual intercourse.

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Case#1 fought like hell to combat cancer but succumbed a few years later. Case#2 was transferred to another institution as their bill reached almost PhP 6 Million ($130,000). Case#3 was discharged in good condition, and has learned her lessons the hard way.

The hospital will definitely sue me once the admin gets to read this entry. If that case happens, I would like to take this opportunity to thank each of you for relentlessly supporting Unbearable Lightness.